How often do you say no to something you really want to do?
For me, its not often.
I pride myself on being a multitasker extraordinaire, a skill that made me one of those PMs that could be in 100 places at once.
I always prided myself on this skill, especially as I moved into Product Coaching.
If anyone could run a one woman show it was me.
It’s always been easy for me to fire on all cylinders, so I always thought it was easy for me to focus.
I spent my career combating low hanging fruit syndrome and pushing teams into spikes instead of small bits of work. Hell I coach on it.
But, a few things had me questioning these self beliefs recently…
What does focus really mean?
Recently, I’ve been needing to focus on a really big project.
But, week after week, I found I was busying myself with all the small things1 I could be doing.
It was right around this time that I attended Marty Cagan’s Transformed Workshop where he discussed the topic of focus.
He shared a great quote from Jony Ive, former Chief Design Officer at Apple, about what focus really means.
It’s worth the 2 minutes of your day, I promise:
From this I reflected:
Focus isn’t just saying no. It’s passing up on great ideas you’re eager to pursue in favor of the ones that align with your strategy.
As a soloprenuer, this is probably my biggest challenge these days. *sigh*
This is also one of the biggest challenges I see happening with builders today. Ruthless prioritization is not happening. As a result, burnout is rampant.
As I sat with Marty and Jony’s words, I started to question the narrative I held that I was super focused and productive.
What is really true?
Was I really saying no to things I wanted to do?
It was also around this time that a third person recommended the book 4000 weeks.
My rule of thumb:
If two people recommend a book, it’s a sign I need to buy it.
If three people recommend it, I need to buy it ASAP. So I did.
I’m about 40 pages in and I’m getting hit over the head with things that continue to challenge my self beliefs.
Author,
writes:“Our troubled relationship with time arises largely from this same effort to avoid the painful constraints of reality. And most of our strategies for becoming more productive make things worse because they’re really just ways of furthering avoidance.”
Damn.
Burkeman’s first chapters have me “yes, anding” everything Marty and Jony talked about.
Reality means saying no to things we really want to do.
It means plunging into the hard thing with lots of unknowns rather than lingering on the low hanging fruit.
It’s saying no and recognizing you’ll be better off for it.
When I said no
A few weeks ago at a Product Leader Breakfast, the concept of saying no came up in the context of product work.
Someone even articulated that a big part of their success as a leader was measured by how many things they said no to.
I shared a personal story, one I have yet to share here, about shutting down a beloved product I built and how it shaped my reputation and readied me for a promotion.
Saying no is power because it’s a complete embrace of reality.
It’s focus to the extreme.
When’s the last time you said no?
*Writer’s Note* Ironically, I had more important things I needed to start with today than this article but it literally just flew out of me in 15 minutes. This stuff felt urgent for me, so I wanted to share it with all of you ahead of a long pause for Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to all of those who celebrate!
Hi - I’m Jori and I’m a Product Coach. Here’s how to work with me ↩️
I work with Product Leaders and their teams to unlock their biggest product moments. If you’re looking for support - drop me a note, I’d love to connect. 🤝
I co-host Product Leadership Breakfast NYC, a monthly product breakfast series to bring together curated groups of PM leaders to connect over casual breakfast. If you live in NYC or find yourself passing through, join us! ☕
Curious how you could benefit from coaching? I’m hosting a FREE Product Power Hour December 17thhttps://lu.ma/fzlp87hm. Join me to get your product questions answered in real-time. 💪
Tempted and refraining from dropping a Blink 182 link meme in here.