3 Takeaways from My First Product x Engineering Chemistry Coaching Hour

Two coaches are better than one.

May 01, 2025

Tuesday, I hosted my first cross-collaborative open coaching hour with Engineering Coach Sarah Ing and the hour flew by. We had a full (virtual) room, with more PMs than engineers1, sharing their tricky interpersonal dynamics they encounter day to day.

The conversation was rich and I honestly could have used more time. So maybe we’ll do it again.

In the meantime, here are the conversations I’m left thinking about from the group session, what’s happening on the group between product and engineering:

1. Working with Offshore Teams Requires More Than Just Good Tools

If I were building a team from scratch, I wouldn’t lean into an offshore model2. That’s a post for another day. But the reality is, many teams including many of my clients’ teams, operate within this model. Which means we’ve got to better bridge the distance between product and engineering, both literally and culturally.

Some thoughtful, tactical ideas surfaced in the group:

Use tools like live captions and Google Translate - I’m addicted to British television so my subtitles are always on. Though, I never thought to do this in meetings and I loved the suggestion!
Summarize meetings and decisions to drive clarity - This is a cornerstone of how I approach meetings in general. It’s 10x more important with teams that sit in a timezone with little overlap.
The Culture Map by Erin Meyer came highly recommended - *adds to shopping car*
There’s no substitute for time spent building trust in person - building a case to visit teams IRL is huge a worthy effort

2. Durable Collaboration Starts With Vulnerability

PMs often struggle with their engineering counterparts, especially around timelines, scope, and priorities. But most of the tension stems from misaligned expectations. The group discussed how early, open conversations can make all the difference:

Say what’s true, like “I’ve mostly worked with PMs, not engineers.” - This likens back to the time I revealed to my team that I was not a technical PM. This went over pretty well. And resonated with many people!
Be direct: “What does great collaboration look like to you? - Treat your team like you would your customers! Ask how you can best support them and what their biggest pain points are. People like feeling heard, so here them.
Align on how to work together, not just what you’re building - I love a good “ways of working” session where teams define roles, responsibilities and expectations. It’s one of the biggest misses I see with my clients today. The earlier you create a shared container, the better.

3. Accountability Needs to Be Baked In

In flat or peer-level teams, accountability often slips through the cracks. PMs find themselves chasing engineering work with no real authority—and no clear path to escalate. The group shared some ideas on what to do when you feel like your hands are tied:

Focus on feedback 1:1 - Surfacing root issues in 1:1s with EMs or tech leads rather than waiting for retros is the way to go. Telling an engineering team they’re not delivering in a group setting is a recipe for disaster. Blame game in a group setting is usually always a recipe for disaster.
Lean on business outcomes - Tie missed deliverables, bloated stories and missed deadlines, to business outcomes to quantify those misses to the team, your counterparts and if needed, leadership.

I left the session thinking: we need more of this.

What are the biggest "chemistry" challenges that come up for you? Aka Which cross-functional coaching session should I run next?

Pop it in the comments!

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